MENANTU atau 'HANTU'?........

How do you like the title of this entry? Funny eh? But if you read the entry below, which I copied & paste from my Kak Ngah's blog, I doubt you'd find it amusing. So, read on.....

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HATI

Sakit kah hati ini?

Hanya diri sendiri yang tau akan jawapannya…..Itu pun kalau ikhlas.

Kadangkala kita ambil 'kredit' untuk perbuatan orang lain. Walhal ianya merupakan 'debit' dalam akaun 'sumbangan' kita. Kadangkala kita terlalu banyak menyalahkan orang di sekeliling kita. Adakah sudah cukup baik dan sempurna sehingga tiada sebesar hama pun kesilapan yang telah kita lakukan. Atau pun sekadar ingin menyebarkan dakyah seantaro Malaya tentang 'kebaikan' sendiri sekadar untuk menutup kesalahan dan kepincangan kita selama ini, walaupun telah menjadi pengetahuan umum siapa kita sebenarnya. Ingat! Ungkapan ‘satu jari menuding ke orang tetapi 4 jari lagi menghala ke arah kita.’ Renung-renungkanlah….

Puaskah hati kita apabila dapat, dengan sengaja, menyakiti hati orang lain dengan kata-kata sinis dan kesat yang tidak mengenal erti kesudahan. Tambahan pula orang berkenaan telah bersusah payah menolong mengambil peranan dan tanggungjawab yang telah kita abaikan selama ini. Tak kiralah sama ada kata-kata itu disalurkan melalui apa jua media (manusia atau elektronik). Kepuasan jangkamasa pendek dapatlah diperolehi. Hakikatnya, kepuasan yang dikecapi dalam jangkamasa panjangnya, TIDAK. Tapi sediakah menanggung padah jangkamasa panjang untuk sedikit kepuasan jangkamasa singkat?

Perlukah kita biadap dan bersikap kurang ajar kepada orang senior yang telah menolong kita? Sama juga: kepuasan jangka pendek sahaja; jangka panjang…… padah juga!

Perlukah kita berpura-pura dengan kawan-kawan yang kita rakan yang baik, ibu yang sempurna? Konon.... Tetapi hakikatnya sebaliknya. Natijahnya saaammmaaa juga: kepuasan jangka pendek sahaja; jangka panjang…… padah juga!

Apa ertinya semua? Kenapa singkat sangat akal kita? Kenapa cetek sangat kolam minda kita?

Perlukah kita hidup dalam kepura-puraan, walaupun umum mengetahui hakikat sebenarnya? Untuk bahan gelak dan tawa umum ke?

Adakah semua ini dilakukan sekadar menutup kesalahan sendiri? Cubaan merebut kembali kasih sayang yang hilang akibat perbuatan sendiri yang telah mengabaikannya selama ini? Ataupun sekadar memenuhi nafsu untuk membolot harta dunia? Natijah perbuatan ini akan membuat diri kita bertambah dibenci! Nauzubillah min zalik.

'Entry' ini ditulis apabila mendengar cerita dari seorang kenalan mengenai seorang ibu mertua dan kakak ipar yang telah berjasa. Balasannya: hati mereka dilukai oleh manusia yang sungguh biadap dan kurang ajar. Orang yang berkelakuan seperti anjing yang dibantu lepas dari tersepit!. Seperti kacang lupakan kulit!!

Oleh itu, sama sama samalah kita berdoa agar perkara seperti ini tidak menimpa kita. Perlulah kita muhasabah diri dan bawa bertaubat nasuhah!

Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda yang maksudnya:”Ketahuilah bahawa dalam jasad manusia ada seketul daging (segumpal darah), jika baik maka baiklah seluruh anggota dan jika rosak maka rosaklah seluruh anggota. Itulah hati.” Dari Bukhari dan Muslim

InsyaAllah hati kita akan bersih seperti ini ……

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InsyaAllah!

I live by a set of simple and straight forward rules and one of it is, 'what goes around comes around'. Furthermore, I've also learned that people are MEAN to you when they feel threatened. Enough said!

2009 in A Nutshell

We’re off to the airport in 4 hours time and here I am staring at the screen trying to squeeze some creative juice flowing from this dead-tired mind and body of mine. Since we’re leaving for a 3 weeks holiday at DH’s ‘kampung’, I think this will be my last entry for year 2009 and with lack of sleep, I sincerely hope that you’d excuse those enormous grammar errors and typos in this post.

Okay, now where should I start? Think...Think....Think!

Well, despite the terrifying AH1N1 scares, the recurrent global economic turmoil, some major disasters at our neighbouring country and of course the shocking death of the most talented entertainer in the world, Michael Jackson (or was it Mikael), personally, this year has indeed been a wonderful journey for me (and my family, of course!) and rewarding in so many ways. With all my heart, I pray for our life to be blessed evermore in 2010 and many years to come.

Among the most significant points I’ve finally grasp about life is about patience. A virtue, which Mak has been harping to me all these years and one I’ve lived to ignore till recently (okay,la not so recent actually). To quote her exact words, “Tak rugi kalau kita sabar”. Those who’re close to me know very well of my legendary ill-tempered manner and how I love (with capital L) confrontation especially with people who find solace in scattering misleading and deceptive remarks about me.

Thanks to my mom and DH, there’re few occasions where I decided not to show the bitchy (again, with capital B) me by pursuing the matters because I finally embraced the famous line of “what goes around comes around” and furthermore I think it’s just a waste of breath and energy to talk to a person who obviously got their brain stuck in between their legs, I mean if they got a brain, that is!

Speaking of karma, I for one do believe GOD is great and since I do not fancy ‘playing God’, I’m in no position to vociferously chanting that person or this person ‘dah dapat BALASAN’ (well, I think it’s better said in Malay). For me, this very person who’s been spinning lies about me got what she deserve lar and the saddest part is she’s now deemed untrustworthy by the very person who’s supposedly live to protect and cherish her.

And, sometimes I bump into some very insecure people who find comfort in collecting as many ‘awards’ as possible aka “I’m-Always-Right-kinda-person” and it matters not that they are always always wrong most of the time. Again, I just zipped my pretty mouth while trying to compose a calm exterior and extended to them, all the ‘awards’ they needed to make themselves feel utterly good and secure.

Guess what, it’s kinda cool to possess such desirable character and I still got a long way to go coz’ I’m still one ‘harimau’ with my lil’girl if she misbehave and I surely need DH and Mak to calm me down every now and then but I’m improving larrrr. Well, bad habits die hard whattt!!?????

I’m also glad to finally know that this particular someone had proven me wrong by still strongly standing beside her husband and brave the challenges (which I hope is only temporary test from God) through thick & thin together, and I’m relieved that we managed to straight things out rationally and thanks to our forthrightness, we’re able to not only forgive and forget but to laugh at our own immaturity in dealing with our previous misunderstandings.

Last but not least, I hope the person whom I once acknowledge as my ‘well of secrecy’ would one day understands the meaning of secret and stop divulging other person’s darkest and deepest secret to everybody that she knows. You, yes I mean you, should be grateful that there are still some naive beings that put the highest trust in you and I beg you not to tell the whole world what has been entrusted upon you. And, Yes, I forgive you for sharing my open secret.

And Yes, things do happen for a reason and for whatever the reason it may be, I hope it’s for the best. As for now, I do feel truly blessed and I’m counting my blessing.

Alhamdulillah, is all I can say.



Happy New Year!

Interesting......

An email I received a few days ago and I feel apt to share it here..... Anyway, my 9yo niece thinks this 'message' is funny coz' it rhymes...

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Pesanan dari ustaz kat office gua…..

KALAU SUAMI, JIKA SUAMI

Kalau suami mula berahsia..
Itu tandanya dia tak setia
Kalau suami meninggi suara
Itu tandanya dia dah ada mak we Kalau suami mengaku bujang tua
Itu tandanya dia nak ngurat anak dara
Kalau suami selera tak ada
Itu tandanya dia nak pasang dua

Kalau suami lambat balik aje

Itu tandanya dia dah syok kat setiausaha
Kalau suami tidur di ruang tamu

Itu tandanya dia dah jemu
Kalau suami malam jumaat buat tak tahu

Itu tandanya tak lama lagi
hidupmu bermadu
Kalau suami garang macam singa
Itu tandanya hati dia dah tak cinta

Kalau suami asyik komplen aje

Itu tandanya dia dah tak suka

Kalau suami mula sepak terajang ke muka

Itu tandanya dia nak memberimu title JANDA....... ....... ..

Jika suami sayangkan isteri
Dapat gaji semua diberi

Jika suami sayangkan isteri

Kerja rumah rela dikongsi

Jika suami sayangkan isteri

Kereta diberi suami naik LRT

Jika suami sayangkan isteri

Duit poket diberi setiap hari

Jika suami sayangkan isteri

SMS dikirim tanda rindu dihati

Jika suami sayangkan isteri

Kongsi masalah nasihat dikasi

Jika suami sayangkan isteri

Diberi ciuman setiap pagi

Jika suami sayangkan isteri

I love U, I miss U katanya setiap hari

Jika suami sayangkan isteri

Isteri gemuk, dikatakan seksi

Jika suami sayangkan isteri

Sakit sikit selongkar laci ubat dicari

Jika suami sayangkan isteri

Kemana sahaja dibawa pergi

Jika suami sayangkan isteri

Sentiasa jujur perihal diri

Jika suami sayangkan isteri

Status berkahwin bangga sekali

Jika suami sayangkan isteri

Cintanya suci hingga ke mati

PESANAN KEPADA ISTERI2 :

Adakah suami2 kita tergolong dlm kategori ini? JIKA SUAMI ... lebih banyak

dari KALAU SUAMI maka bersyukurlah kerana

rumahtangga anda umpama SYURGA.

TETAPI ... KALAU SUAMI.... lebih banyak dari JIKA SUAMI... maka

berhati-hatilah. .

wahai kaum isteri jangan sampai rumahtangga mu umpama NERAKA.

PERINGATAN KEPADA SUAMI2 :

Bukankah lebih baik jadikan rumahtangga itu SYURGA dari menjadikan ia NERAKA?????

JANGAN ANDA MERASA MENYESAL KERANA MENCINTAI ISTERI..KERANA DIALAH BIDADARIMU DI DUNIA INI...DAN JANGANLAH ANDA SERONOK MENZALIMINYA KERANA DOA ORANG TERANIAYA DITERIMA

ALLAH YANG ESA...

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Moral of the Story :

I believe every husbands and wives have their respective role to play and responsibilities to fulfill. Instead of questioning, demanding and reminding our other half on their responsibilities, I believe it’s wise to do some self–reflection and ask ourselves whether we’ve keep our part of the bargain and have we give our best for the marriage.

My Thoughts.....

Gosh! I’ve been busy like a bee... what with all those open house invitations, weekend getaway & rendezvous with my lil’ family, endless housechores and above all, DH is at home by dinner time (well, year end is just around the corner, so, DH is not swamped with heavy workloads that usually requires him to be home way past dinner time) and once Areya is fast asleep, I gotta spend wonderful cozy evenings with DH. Hmmmmmm.....tell me, who wouldn’t wanna snuggle with their own hubs while watching Transformers 2, The Proposal, The Ugly Truth and a few more that we finally managed to watch(yeah...yeah.... we are sooo outdated when it comes to the latest movies and yes! we do go to the cinemas but to only watch Areya’s kind of movies).

Speaking of movies & DVDs, we are supposed to watch District 9 tonite but here I am staring at my notebook while waiting for DH to come home and after I had my weekly CSI Miami dose

Apart from leading a life of a very busy and forever occupied SAHM, which is one of the main reasons for the scarcity of entries in my blog, I’m somehow not that motivated to blog. Not that I have nothing to blog about, to be honest, I have aplenty to share and update but sometimes I tend to get carried away once I started to blog on certain issues.

At the risk of appearing virtuous or holier-than-thou, I believe one should just keep their pretty mouth zipped or make full use of the internet to search for information and whatnots, if they don’t have anything nice to say, share or blog about. Otherwise, not only the person makes a fool of themselves but the impact of their idiocy might somehow cause damage to their spouses’ reputation. Well, ya’ know.... we can always look for information or search that particular someone at a click of a button and most of the time the information are accessible to public.

Anyway, at the end of the day, it’s their blog & space and if they feel that it’s deem appropriate to tell to the whole wide world, how ‘sick’ and miserable they are, I reckon, let them drown in their very own self-inflicted resentment self. And, if by destructively criticising other people or any diminutive matters, where each and everyone are at fault, is the only way to make them feel secure, safe and strong, I guess, let them live in their own delusional and lonely world.

As someone who’s extremely passionate, I admit that in the past I did use my blog as a platform to unleash my frustration or to get my message across and..... I can only say it was very very silly act of me. But, again, Alhamdulillah, I have a rational and astute partner who’s always by my side to guide the ever temperamental, volatile and controversial me. So, yeah! I’m slowly rectifying this evil side of me and I think I’ve made a slight improvement when Kak Long stared at me while I was updating her on ehem..ehem..ehem some unpleasant things some people said, that usually will make my ‘blood go upstairs’ one...... But, instead of ‘mengamuk’ and get very emo, I just laughed and shook my head in disbelief. After I was done with the ‘live-telecast’, Kak Long simply said that I managed to control my temper now (choi..choi... *touch wood*) and I seriously hope I’d be able to retain this truly uplifting trait, just like her and my mom.

Till later babes! DH is back and now, this SAHM need to attend to her ‘wifery’ role.... Ta ta for now!

Menjelang Hari Raya.......

Of late, I’m truly not inspired to blog.... Not quite know the reason though.... Maybe, it’s because of the fasting month where I’m usually a bit ‘pancit’ by mid afternoon and for someone who has a history of bad gastric and stomach ulcer problem, it can be pretty tough to survive in the month of Ramadhan. Or maybe it gotta do with that certain someone who’s bookmark my blog and responded in a very obnoxious manner that makes one wonder whether that certain someone is demented or mentally-disturbed.

Well, I believe it’s just the plain lazy me who sometimes need to find the mojo to update her blog but is so rajin blog-hopping and FB-ing for hours than updating her own blogs.

Anyway, while blog-hopping, I found this interesting post that is worth sharing with, and since Raya is just around the corner, I feel it’s apt to share this enlightening story with all my readers and fellow bloggers. It’s an eye-opener, at least to me!

I honestly am not able to verify the accuracy of the statements in this story, nor do I know the person who wrote this but if what this remarkable mother in this story said is true, I’ve got a lot to learn then.

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Setiap kali menjelang ramadhan tergiang-giang suara ibu yang rasanya baru saja saya dengar walaupun telah berlaku berbelas tahun.

Diantara tazkirah ibu yang amat saya ingat ialah ketika bulan puasa selepas bersahur sementara menunggu waktu solat subuh ibu akan memanggil kami semua (3 orang anak perempuannya - ibu mempunyai 4 orang anak perempuan seorang dah berumahtangga dan dua orang anak lelaki) dan akan bercerita tentang kebesaran Allah dan hukum hakam dalam islam dengan menggunakan bahasa yang amat mudah difahami walaupun ketika itu saya masih lagi bersekolah menengah rendah dan ayah pula meninggal dunia ketika usia saya tiga bulan

Ibu : Apa yang nak ibu cakap nie....dengar baik-baik lebih-lebih lagipada Ateh (anak no. 3) dan Acik (anak no.5). Ateh akan mendirikanrumahtangga taklama lagi. Apabila hampir penghujung puasa dah tentu kamu suami isteri akan berbantah-bantahan untuk pulang ke kampong siapa pada hari raya pertama. Betul tak?

Ateh & Acik : Betul....mestilah ghumah ibu dulu.........

Ibu : Dengar dulu....contohnya jika rumah kamu di Paka, rumah ibu di Johor dan rumah mentua kamu di Marang, rumah siapakah yang akan kamu tuju dulu?

Ateh & Acik : Ghumah ibulah.....

Ibu : Tidak.......ibu tidak izinkan kamu balik ke sini.........baliklah ke rumah mentua kamu dan jika mentua dan suami kamu izinkan barulah balik ke rumah ibu........ibu tak kisah hari raya yang keberapa sekalipun.

Ateh : Mengangguk.......(tanda faham ler tue...... dia nie banyak ikut perwatakan ibu....penyabar, bertolak ansur dan mahir dalam menjahit,sulam menyulam, memasak dan juga pandai mengurut....diantara kamiadik-beradik dialah yang paling dalam pengetahuannya dalam islam seperti ibu juga)

Acik : Mana boleh macam tu tak aci lahhhhhh......kena gilir-gilirlahbaru adil (dia nie memang kaki bangkang pun.....outspoken skit kalau dia tak puas ati)

Ibu : Ingatlah......jika anak-anak perempuan itu sayangkan ibu bapanya dan inginkan kebahagian ibu bapa nya di akhirat nanti... taatlah pada suami dan mentua ........

Acik : Macam kaum h**** lak... Dah kawin tak boleh gi rumah emak bapak.

Ibu : Bukan macam tu...... Islam tu indah.......setiap anak-anak perempuan yang taat pada suami di samping mentua mereka, ibubapanya akan mendapat pahala di atas ketaatannya itu.....dan seperkara lagi.....untuk menjaga suami tidak sesusah mananye... hanya dua perkara kalau kamu nak menundukkan suami kamu mengikut ISLAM......JAGALAH NAFSUNYA DAN JAGALAH PERUTNYA. InsyaAllah dia tak akan ke mana.....kalau dia melilau pun dia akan kembali kepada kamu juga... Pahala kamu ada di dalam rumah kamu tak payah bersusah payah macam kaum lelaki di luar rumah mencari pahala...

Ditakdirkan Allah Ateh bernikah dengan abang ipar yang yatim piatu......jadi setiap tahun beraya bersama ibu manakala Acik pulak masih mempunyai ibubapa mentua....Hampir setiap tahun pada hari raya puasa Acik sekeluarga akan beraya di rumah mentua di Melaka cuma pada hari keempat atau selebihnya di rumah ibu (rumah Acik di KL)...

Dengan takdir Allah ketika saya berada di tingkatan 6 rendah, dua hari sebelum hari raya puasa Acik sekeluarga tiba dirumah ibu. Ibu terkejut tapi saya rasa terkejut campur gembira agaknya ibu padamasa itu.

Selepas pulang dari solat terawih ibu duduk berbual dengan abang ipar...

Ibu : Bila kamu nak bawa isteri kamu pulang ke Melaka?

Abang ipar : Kami akan beraya di sini dan raya ke dua nanti baru balik ke Melaka (dia nie memang malu sakan dgn ibu).

Ibu : Adakah ini desakan dari isteri kamu?

Abang ipar : Tidak bu.......saya izinkan keluarga saya beraya di sini.

Ibu : Bagaimana ibubapa kamu adakah mereka setuju?

Abang ipar : Mereka tiada halangan (dalam hati saya rasa terkilan..........apalah ibu nie....biarkan jerlah Acik nak beraya disini)

Ibu : Izinkan ibu bercakap dalam talipon dengan emak kamu. (abang ipar bangun dan mendial no. talipon kampungnya dan menyerahkan ganggang talipon pada ibu....lama gak ibu bergayut dengan besannya). Emak kamu tak ada masalah kamu sekeluarga beraya bersama ibu di sini.(sambil menitis airmata). Terima kasih kerana membawa anak dan cucu-cucu ibu ke sini.

Apabila habis bulan syawal seperti biasa hanya saya dan ibu saja tinggal dirumah. Sebagai anak yang bongsu dan paling rapat dengan ibu dan masih solo ketika itu, ibu mencurahkan perasaan dan berbangga kerana dapat membimbing anak-anak perempuan nya kearah islam tapi ibu amat kecewa dengan kedua-dua anak-anak lelakinya yang seperti lembu dicucuk hidung menjadi pak turut kepada isteri mereka.

Bayangkanlah menantu perempuan ibu yang sulong tidak pernah bermalam di rumah ibu apatah lagi lepas makan nak tolong basuh pinggan ke atau menolong kerja-kerja rumah yang lain....(tak boleh cerita panjang.........dah masuk bab mengumpatlak.......).

Semasa saya di tingkat 6 atas ibu kembali ke rahmatullah membawa seribu kekecewaan di atas sikap anak-anak lelakinya.

Alhamdulillah apabila saya mendirikan rumahtangga......masalah pulang beraya tak mendatangkan masalah pada suami kerana semua jenis cuti kami sekeluarga akan habiskan di rumah mentua saya. Saya juga salah seorangmenantu yang disenangi. Saya selalu bertanya pada diri saya sendiri...... sempurnakah sudah aku sebagai seorang menantu? Sempurnakah aku sebagai seorang isteri yang solehah?......... berjayakah aku menjadi ibu sepertimana ibu ku dulu????????

Ya Allah.....berilah aku petunjuk dan pimpinlah aku ke jalan yang engkau redhai..... Aminnnnnn

Moral of the story

Jangan gaduh pasal balik raya la, pakat baik2.

Buat anak lelaki,tanggungjawab kat ibu sampai salah seorang (anak tu atau ibu) menemui ajalnya.

Buat para isteri, jangan sampai jadikan suami anak derhaka...

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Alhamdulillah, this ‘balik raya’ dilemma is never an issue for DH and me coz’ Raya is always celebrated with Mak and my family, while the Christmas festival and the long holidays are to be spent with DH’s family. Truth be told, I’m quite alright if DH wants to celebrate Raya with his family (since both of his younger brothers are Muslim too) in the future, coz’ I believe a wife’s place is always beside her husband and I sure wouldn’t want DH to be anak derhaka.

*Peace*

Till then, SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI......... Maaf, Zahir & Batin. Drive safely, do try not to burn the kitchen down while showing off your cooking skills this Raya, eh? and Happy 'Binge'ing!